Ozmon Media – Radio Programming Consultation Air Personality Development

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TOO OLD WHEN…..

After watching The Who’s 65-year-old Roger Daltrey and 64-year-old Pete Townsend play at the halftime show of last night’s Super Bowl, I wondered when are you really too old to rock ‘n roll? Whatever happened to aging gracefully in America? We baby boomers seem desperate to hang onto our youth no matter how embarrassing we look to others.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre is another perfect example of this phenomena. Just because you can play football at age 40 doesn’t mean you should. 40-year-old bones and joints just don’t react as well to being hit by a 300-pound man running at full speed as they did when you were 20.

Wearing leather pants is something else that needs an age limit. Just because you can fit into a pair of leather pants doesn’t mean you look right wearing them. There are also lots of older women who seem to lost track of the fact they are no longer 20-somethings and still insist on wearing short, tight clothing that was on the edge of being appropriate to wear even when they were in their 20’s.

This brings to mind the topic, “Face It! You’re Too Old To Do That Anymore.” Make your own list of the things you see people do that they are really too old to pull off. Then open up the phones and solicit your audience for “The Most Inappropriate Age-Appropriate Behavior You’ve Ever Seen.” Pick the worst age-appropriate violation to use as resolution to this topic.

WOULD YOU EAT EXPIRED FOOD?

Almost all of the foods you consume have an expiration date printed somewhere on the packaging, but how many of us eat foods after their expiration date? Apparently more of us do that than you would think. 40% of Americans eat stale bread and 30% eat canned goods after the expiration date. It gets worse! 33% will eat anything that looks and smells OK. That’s not a good idea, according to the American Dietetic Association. The ADA recommends you throw out milk seven days after it was bought, yogurt seven to ten days, and eggs three weeks after they land in your refrigerator.

YOUR COMPUTER KEYBOARD CAN MAKE YOU SICK

Think twice before tapping on those keys! Your computer keyboard can, in fact, make you very ill. 8.25% are home to enough bacteria to be potential health hazards. Some keyboards even harbor 500% more germs than a toilet seat. The main cause of this bacteria is the food crumbs that lodge in the spaces between the keys. Dust can allow moisture and allow bacteria to develop and people with colds may cough on the keyboard.

To keep your keyboard clean, unplug the keyboard and shake the crumbs loose. Remove any remaining debris with compressed air or wipe the spaces clean with a small paint or computer brush. You can also wipe the grime off the keys with a rag dampened in water, dry it, then follow that up with an alcohol wipe. Don’t wipe to hard or you can obliterate key markings.

HOW TO AMP UP YOUR LASER POINTER

Your laser pointer could be doing so much more than highlighting PowerPoint slides and messing with your cat’s mind. It could be sculpting ice, sparking campfires, or searing slogans on your leather jacket. From the January issue of Wired magazine, here is how to give a standard laser pointer a power upgrade.

1. Disassemble the unit by removing the batteries, opening the housing, and taking out the laser module.

2. Search the circuit board for a variable resistor. Resembling a tiny Phillips-head screw, it’s the key to boosting the current.

3. To intensify the beam, use a small screwdriver to gently tighten the resistor. Just don’t tighten it all the way or your cheapo laser pointer will burn out instantly.

4. Reassemble and aim your newly potent pointer at safe targets like ice, wood, or plastic. (Please, no people, animals or airplanes!)

COUNT THE CLICHES

All professional athletes are coached to pretty much say nothing original when they are interviewed by the media. I’m pretty sure all coaches give each player an encyclopedia of sports cliches when they join the team. Perhaps the most overused sports cliche is “We just have to play them one at a time.” Then there is also, “You can’t win if you don’t score points.”, and scores of others.

As we are just days before this year’s Super Bowl XLIV, there have been tons and tons of interviews done with countless players and coaches just chock full of cliche after cliche. You could have some fun with this by picking a particularly cliche laden interview and using it as the basis of a Count the Cliches Contest. You, as the judges, predetermine what you consider a cliche in the interview and then play it for your audience. Solicit a numbered caller to guess the correct total number of cliches contained in the interview and award the winner a prize.

WOMEN ARE COMMITTING MORE CRIMES

Women still may have a long way to go before they get paid as much as men but we’re making great progress towards parity when it comes to committing crimes. Since 1970, female crimes have increased by 140% and show no signs of slowing down. Women account for high percentages of embezzlement (41%), fraud (39%), forgery (36%) and larceny-theft (33%). Surprisingly, women are responsible for 28% of all property crimes and 15% of all violent crimes. Also, women who are sent to prison for murder are twice as likely to have killed someone close to them like a boyfriend, husband, or child.

COOL NEW WEBSITES

Every day cool new websites appear on the Internet so it’s tough to keep up with all of them. Here are three new websites you may not have heard about.

Ceevee.com – Stand out from a heap of humdrum resumes with this free service. Plug in your experience and the website will give your credentials a professional design, as well as your own URL. (For example, ceevee.com/janedoe)

Jinni.com – Searching for a romantic comedy, a period piece, or simply a movie that will boost your mood? This site lets you “watch what you wish for,” meaning you can type in your desired genre, then see a list of films to choose from with info on where to rent, purchase, or view them (for free) online.

Mypunchbowl.com – Need a virtual event planner to organize a friend’s baby shower or some other event? This party-savvy website allows potential attendees to vote on the best date, creates online invitations, and helps you find a theme, a venue, a caterer, and more.

WHEN DID YOU FIRST HAVE SEX?

The average age in America for first-time sexual intercourse is 17.3 years of age. By the time young adults turn 18, most of them have had sex, 54% of men and an even larger 58% of women, according to the National Survey of Family Growth. By the time they reach age 25, more than 90% of single men and women have had sex.

Casual sex it is not – at least in most cases. More than two out of three women say their first sexual partner was a steady boyfriend. Far from regretting their loss of virginity, most young women who had sex before age 20 wanted it to happen. 34% said they really wanted to have sex, and another 53% partly wanted it to happen. Only 13% say they did not want to have sex the first time around. More »

“I HATE FOOTBALL” EVENTS

As much as most of us love Super Bowl Sunday, there are still a significant number of people who would rather be doing something else than watch the game. So, consider putting together an event aimed towards those people for whom football is a bore. You could do something as simple as give away passes to a local chick flick showing on Sunday evening, or a Sunday night shopping spree at a local retailer. You could also have the non-football fan on your show host a dinner party somewhere where there is no football allowed. The football haters in your audience will love you for this.

WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF GROUNDHOG DAY?

Horniness and hunger are the actual elements that determine a groundhog’s behavior when it emerges in winter from months of hibernation. Quite simply, if on awakening a groundhog is sexually aroused and famished, he’ll stay above ground and search for a mate and a meal. If, on the other hand, these appetites are still dulled from his winter nap, he’ll return to his burrow for a six-week doze. Weather has nothing to do with it.

German farmer folklore dating back to the 16th century dictated that if the day was sunny and the groundhog was frightened by his shadow back into hibernation, then farmers should refrain from planting crops, since there would be another six weeks of winter weather. Scientific studies have dashed that lore. The groundhog’s accuracy in forecasting the onset of spring, observed over a 60-year period, is a disappointing 28%. More »

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