USING BODY LANGUAGE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

It’s not only what you say that dictates how people respond to you.  Body language is a powerful tool that can help you get your way at work without anyone realizing it.  Here are six tricks for getting your way at work from body-language expert Janine Driver author of the book You Say More Than You Think: A Seven-Day Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want.

1.  Ace a Meeting – Choose a seat close to your boss (it will make him or her feel more connected to you).  Sit on the first third of your seat, which makes you appear more engaged and on top of things.  Then hold something that you know your boss likes in the hand nearest to him or her – maybe the type of coffee your boss drinks or the brand of pen he or she uses.  This psychological device prompts your boss to associate the two of you in his or her mind, which makes your boss subconsciously more likely to agree with what you’re saying.

2.  Make Anyone Say Yes – To get a coworker to agree to a favor, gesture with one palm up, a technique police officers use during questioning to persuade a person to do as they ask.  Then touch your hand over your heart as you finish the request, signaling a “heartfelt” appeal.  To seal the deal, pause for a few seconds before you say the keyword, such as “I know we’re all busy, but can you (pause) work my shift?”  That brief silence subtly frames it as a subliminal command, prompting him or her to say yes.

3.  Shut Up an Annoying Coworker – Continue to look at what you’re doing as that person is talking, and do a gesture known as the handgun steeple (you interlace all your fingers, except for your pointers, which form the barrel of the “gun”).  Rest the barrel against your lips, signaling that you don’t want to speak.  If the person doesn’t get it, aim it at the person as you say something neutral, such as “I’ve got so much work to do.”

4.  Move Past a Mistake - Okay, so you messed up.  Keep your supervisor from freaking by standing two feet to one side of him or her when you confess.  This is a non-confrontational stance that triggers him or her subconsciously to want to get past your screw up.  Emphasize the point by saying, “Going forward, this will not happen again.”

5.  Take Charge of the Office Bitch – Address her straight on (tilting your head suggests you’re looking for approval), and lift your chin about two inches.  You’ll exude confidence since you’re literally looking down your nose.  Use a dismissive palm-down hand gesture to show that you are the one in control and aren’t buying her BS.

6.  Outsmart a Competitive Colleague – As you’re talking lay your arm across the person’s desk.  You want to take up space in his or her territory.  Touching the person’s turf asserts you as the alpha coworker and conveys that you can – and will – get what you want.

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March 8th, 2010 | Tags: Persuassion techniques | Category: Daily Blog